I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
