Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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