Whod you bang
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
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