Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
