Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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