You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
