I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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