champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
