I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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