Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
