The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
