Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
