Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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