he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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