Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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