its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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