So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
What drink are we having for lunch?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
