I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
