Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
