Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
