She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Sorry about my life...
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
