You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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