It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
