I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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