Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
