Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
