doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
