If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
