at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
