if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
