Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
