i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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