if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
