i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
How's work?
Spinning.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
