She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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