it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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