Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
