My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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