found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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