I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
