guys are only as good as the porn they watch
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
