and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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