Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
