I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
it's like iHOP with fire
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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