He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
