okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
