I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
