That's intense
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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