I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
she peed on how many people?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Randomize
