Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
