At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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