Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
